That Awkward Moment When You're Your Own Worst Critic

May. 10th, 2011 10:02 pm
amandaink: (Default)
Late night self-loathing voice is always a very nice girl.

Dark Side of Brain: What are you even doing? You can't write. Look at this story--LOOK AT IT. My God, there isn't even a plot there are just characters doing things. Why are they doing these things? Why can't you make them interesting? IF YOUR PLOTTING WAS ANY LOOSER THE INK WOULD RUN RIGHT OFF THE PAGE.
Good Side of Brain: Sweetheart, it would be nice if you began fewer sentences with pronouns. Just a suggestion.
Dark Side: WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOURSELF IF PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ THIS? YOU ARE A SHINING EXAMPLE OF EVERY SINGLE CRITICISM YOU HAVE EVER MADE.
Good Side: And a few less adverbs please.
Dark Side: GO READ SOME OSCAR WILDE SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE NOT AND NEVER EVER WILL BE.
Me: *stares blankly at screen*

Perserverance causes more brain-yelling but it's better than writing nothing at all.

When I neglect to write I start criticizing myself for being lazy and uninspired and I start thinking I'll never complete anything worthwhile.

Oh broken self-esteem, you are such a double-edged sword.
  • Current Mood: nervous
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In Which I'm Only a Part Time Shut-In

Apr. 30th, 2011 10:51 pm
amandaink: (Default)
[A pre-entry note: Hello new [livejournal.com profile] ontdcreepy friends! I haven't been especially active the past few days and I'm sorry that I've neglected to comment or actually engage anyone in conversation. I promise that will change now that I'm actually up and posting and not being a social pariah. LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING TO KNOW YA'LL~ ♥ ♥ ♥]

My goal this May is to not neglect books in favor of reading manga. This happened in April and evidently consuming as much manga from my library as concievably possible does some weird things to my mind.

Me, reading chapter 160 of Bleach: HOLY SHIT, HE'S USING GENJUTSU.

...wait.

BUT I HAVE DISCOVERED A FEW THINGS THAT ACTUALLY TAKE PLACE OUTSIDE OF MY ROOM.

The first is job hunting. We're not going to talk about how that's going.

The second is trying to improve my cooking skills. My talents are legendary amongst my circle of friends. I am the one forbidden to so much as slice sandwiches during party preparations. I am the infamous melter of bowls, the burner of popcorn, the no-Amanda-you-have-to-take-the-spaghetti-o's-OUT-of-the-can-before-they-go-in-the-microwave. I've given myself grease burns making eggs. When I was thirteen I got my hair caught in an electric eggbeater while making a cake.

Are you getting the idea?

But despite my few bad experiences, I do love food and I love watching food get made. (HERE'S TO YOU, FOOD NETWORK.) I have a recipe book I bought and I've been trying a few things out. So far I have made (without any harm to people and/or kitchens):

♥ Biscuits
♥ Toffee chopped chocolate angel food cake
♥ Chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting

Reportedly, they have been a success.

I hope it's not too early to pat myself on the back. I'm planning to make blueberry muffins for Mother's Day and I don't want my not-setting-things-on-fire streak to be shortlived.

WE SHALL SEE. Until then, I'm going to lay on my bed and wait for productivity to come to me instead of the other way around.
  • Current Mood: restless
  • Current Music: Alice of Human Sacrifice
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Some Useless Updates About My Life

Apr. 11th, 2011 12:39 pm
amandaink: (Default)
You know how you know that you might be crazy or just entirely too paranoid?

When it's ten o' clock at night and you're at your best friend's house, all alone save for two dogs. And then you hear a voice outside the door. It's a female voice. And so you race outside of the bedroom, heart going off like a jack hammer, and you look around the room and ask, "Is someone here?" And the only response you get is the two dogs jumping up to say, You're back? How about you stop looking half-crazed and pet us?

We're going to call this Adventures In Housesitting.

Other adventures include Friday when you're at lunch and you get a call from your best friend's mom saying that the alarm company just called to say that there's been a breach so you get your ass up and race across town to find that the house is empty, the alarm is glitching, and one of the two dogs you're taking care of decides that this is the time to jump ship through the escape route you left while you're checking the closets for burglars. You find him in the neighbor's yard and drag all three hundred pounds of him back into the house.

So this has been my week. In some book news--everyone loves book news--I read The Dark and Hollow Places on my Kindle thereby proving my own theory that getting new books for half the price and not in annoying debilitating hardback made the Kindle price worth it.

I also got Bleach. The first fourteen volumes. If the librarian thought it was strange that I was carrying manga up to my chin, she didn't comment. I know I'm late to the party but I'm really enjoying it so far. I also got two Naruto volumes and I put others on hold since I'm finally getting back to reading the manga cohesively rather than just watching sporadic episodes and reading whatever scanlations and spoilers I come across. I forgot how much I love it.

But I find the only problem is that now I can only hear Little Kuriboh's voice(s).

  • Current Mood: hopeful
  • Current Music: Perfect Day- Hoku
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Hello Cruel World, How Are You?

Mar. 14th, 2011 09:19 pm
amandaink: (Default)
I'm not even going to bother to friends lock this shit since clicking an extra button is too much hassle and I don't have anything exceptionally private to say. DO YOU HEAR THAT, CREEPERS? I WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS. I'm switching everything over to this journal since I like things that are fresh and new and I didn't happen to brainstorm the username in a haze of painkiller brilliance.

Also I'm going to, like, use this thing for what a journal is for and, like, post in it. This is sort of like my goal to be less socially awkward. You know, that one that won't happen.
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